Safe Space: a place that provides a physically and emotionally safe environment for a person or group of people, especially a place where people can freely express themselves without fear of prejudice, negative judgment, etc.
We, therapists and leaders, work in so many spaces; homes, hospitals, schools… these are the places that I frequent in my own clinical work. Most often, these are pretty safe spaces… matching the very definition above. When I go into homes for an initial evaluation, I go in free of judgement, free of preconceived thoughts and biases… frankly, I’ve most often never met these people. I see a child’s information on a piece of paper, but in 20 years, I have found that those papers are such a tiny piece of a much larger puzzle.
Some of the puzzle pieces I will never find… and that is okay. And some of the puzzle pieces I will place myself, which is really a cool thing to think about. But I digress… the point is that I do my part to make the space I enter (even someone’s home) a safe space for which we can learn and grow. We listen, we inquire, we offer assistance or resources as accepted. When I enter a classroom or individual session the same safe space rules apply… with the added- it’s okay to make mistakes.
In our adult spaces we offer safety by engaging in conversations, learning and listening. It is recognized that we may not agree on all things… that is okay… how boring a world it would be if we all thought the same thing. These safe spaces allow for disagreements to become conversations. But what happens when that space does not yield healthy or safe conversations?
If people are free to voice their own opinions and present these opinions as fact, then what space is safe?
What happens when the space you have been involved with making safe for others, is no longer safe for you?
I recently had to avoid a space… a space that, up until recently, has always felt safe.
I avoided something that really brings me joy… a music therapy conference, because this year, it would not have brought me joy. I was not safe in that space.
For months I have watched as the people I have respected, the people I have locked arms with as an ally, the people who’s voices I have elevated and shared when their voices weren’t heard, have actively turned against my own people’s rights to exist. Yes, I refer to Israel and the current state of affairs overseas.
My colleagues have denied the heritage of my people… actively posting false information about the history. These same falsehoods, spread by so many people even beyond our MT world, have had extreme repercussions across the world… because they become the basis for Jewish hate. And now, 5 months later, the haters can’t tell the difference between Jewish hate and Israeli disgust.
Well, my colleagues, who continue to spread this misinformation, were my friends. And when called into a conversation, or asked about their feelings on the very real, very proven rape and murder that occurred on October 7, continue to remain silent. Because they are unable to engage in conversation or respect that our opinions differ- because it is fact vs. fiction, it is no longer a safe space for me.
So, if my job requires me to move into spaces, and create safe spaces so that I can do my job, honor the families and professionals that I work with and create a team approach to learning, therapy-ing and growing, why is that same courtesy not extended to me as a colleague?
I just want a safe space to land.
